Update!

Where do I even begin? It's been two years, two months, and seventeen days since my last post. Wow! Where did the time go? A lot has changed since then, I feel like I have matured and grew up in a way.

Job: I've landed my dream job (what I thought would be my dream job)! I am currently the Information Technology Specialist (IT Systems Administrator) at a small school, it's really been a challenge and definitely has been a learning experience. It has really forced me to mature, being 22 at the time I felt like no one really took me seriously. I felt very intimated by all the administrators, it seems as though I have gained their trust. After a year and a half of doing this it has occurred to me that this isn't really the direction I what to go with my career, I really want to go back to school and study sports medicine.

Relationships: Where do I begin? Ha, we'll right now I'm single! Yay! =] it's been difficult juggling work and a long distant relationship :( I did have a great time with my ex, I think the problem was we rushed through everything, I've had a chance to get to know him a few months before we made it official, a month later I had to leave him for a very huge job opportunity, we stay together for 6 months after but then decided it wasn't fair for the two of us to stay together when we ever hardly had the time for each other. I promised myself that I would never do Long Distant Relationship again. But there's this one guy that I am really falling for! At times I don't know weather it's all real? I do get mixed feelings? I have to be honest I get really scared talking to him. I don't know why? I shouldn't be. I guess will just have to let time take its course and see how this plays out ;) Sorry I haven't voxed yet I will soon [=

Friends: I've made some amazing new friends and lost a few over the past two years. Lets just say i now know who my true friends really are. I would just like to thank you all for all the amazing memories I've had shared with you all. Last month I've lost a good friend from middle school which was so shocking, I still can't believe he is gone :( I do wish his family all the best.

Family: As my little cousin would say "Fucked Up". My family has seem to fall apart since my grandma and aunt died a few years ago, I have not really spent time with the family since then, slowly we all have been avoiding each other, recently my other aunt has started working with me (same employer, same department) haha go figure ("It's not what you know it's who you know" here on the rez) we both have the same supervisor, which still boggles my mind how they put IT under Finance/Business. I have to admit I did miss her. My uncles on the other hand, well I don't know how there're doing, but I have seen them here and there which tells me they are fine. My sister had a baby boy! We still talk and keep in touch. As for my brother? I have no fucking idea what he's doing? I really honestly don't give a shit either? Does that make me a bad person? I still have not forgiven him, there's still hope I guess.

Health: ugh, I honestly hate not knowing what's going on with me at times, I have been told that my kidneys are normal but might be failing? WTF? Never again going to IHS, so far I've been doing good. I have not notice anything unusual since my last case of symptoms. The past month or so I have experienced a wrist sprain, finger dislocation, and now a really bad ear ache =[ I really hope I don't come down with a fever or cold. I've also stopped drinking! Been sober since New Years! I feel really focused and really energetic since, it really wasn't a New Years Resolution, but I did lose a friend which he was probably the cause of my partying ways. I am also going to start Insanity next week!!!!!  Hopefully I can finish the program, I bought the DVDs last year and did 5 weeks of it. I've stopped cause of work and travel.

Other: Well this year I plan go back to school get my Bachelors in Systems Administration also start classes in Sports Medicine.  As for my current job, I honestly don't know yet, if they decided to renew my contract I'm going have to really think about it.  I do need the money.  It all depends.

That's all I have to say for now, until next time. =)

Nite of Apologies..

It’s 2:18 am December 16th 2010!.. Yet another sleepless night… So far I’ve had two cups of coffee, listening to Crystal Bowersox’s new album, I gotta say it isn't bad… Favorite song is Arlene, it’s got that country vibe to it!.. 

It’s been 4 months since I’ve posted, and I have no clue where to start… hmm first off I like to say RIP to my aunt, you will forever and will always be missed… This past month has been hard, you have always been there for me and my family… You were the only one who cared, and loved us… I will never forget who you are, you always inspired me, you always acknowledge my potential to succeed in life…

As for my mom, I love you… I’m sorry you had to go through yet another tragedy this year, I’m sorry for the way I acted towards some family members, I’m sorry for those family members who have treated you unfairly, I’m sorry I’m not always there to help, I’m sorry for yelling, and screaming for no apparent reason, I’m sorry for not forgiving my brother, I’m sorry I’m so stubborn, I’m sorry for all the reasons I should be sorry for… I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, your the greatest mom any son could have… I love it when we listen to music and start laughing for no reason, I love cooking you my delicious tacos you love, I love it when you can’t remember things, I love it when you get mad at me, I love it when you can’t stand the smell of fish, I love it when you talk loud, I love it when you embarrass me, I love it when you make me jealous, I love it when you get angry when I talk about my brother, I love it when you make me cry…

Dad, your awesome, I know it’s hard for you to live with family that doesn’t acknowledge you… for that I’m sorry my family is selfish, I’m sorry it’s hard for you to express your self, I’m sorry I can’t support the family the way I wish I could, I’m sorry your always paying the bills in anyway possible, I’m sorry I can’t always be the one to pay the bills, I’m sorry I’m such a pain to live with, I’m sorry our family is struggling, I’m sorry I’m spoiled… Hope you can also forgive me, you’re the dad every son wants to have… I love the way you can’t always understand me when I talk fast, I love it when I drive you everywhere, I love it when you can’t say no to people in need, I love it when you  make up names for people, I love that we don’t agree on all the time, I love it when you get mad, I love it when you spoil me, I love it when work hard for the family, I love it when you tell me stories, I love it when you teach me songs, I love it when you teach me how to prey, I love it when you teach me how to be the best son I can be…

Sister, hmm what is there to say?!.. I’m sorry you lost your dad, I’m sorry I such a pain, I’m sorry I’m stubborn, I’m sorry I’m always getting you in trouble, I’m sorry for always telling mom your prego haha, I’m sorry I’m always teasing you but I love you for always being there for mom, I love you just cuz u always get me in trouble, I love you for being the crazy and loveable sister, I love you for always telling me your feelings, I love you for being my sister, I love you for coming back to mom, I love that you always acknowledge my dad…

Brother, although we hardly ever get to communicate with one another, I love you… You’re the only brother I have, and I’m sorry you lost you dad, I’m sorry I’m not always there for you, I’m sorry I’m  not the brother a brother should be, I’m sorry I’m so stubborn, I’m sorry I can’t forgive you just yet, I’m sorry I don’t talk to you, I’m sorry I’m not the uncle your son should have, I’m sorry for being your brother… I love you for being there for my sister, I love you for saying “I love you” to mom, I love that you gave Uncle the son he always wanted… Despite what you think of me I LOVE you, I know we both will forgive and forget and move on… I hate not having a relationship with you…

Well hopefully this doesn’t come back and bite me, it's 3:33 am now, and I’m still wide awake, I’m sorry if I have offended anyone, I didn’t mean to…

Intro!. - 1st Post!.

What up Bloggers!. the names L3nNy, aka l3oNaRd!. i’m 21 years young! and right now i totally don't know what’s up wit my life?. its a fucking rollercoaster..all i’m doing is living it day by day and taking it step by step and enjoying every moment!. my friends and family who, mean a lot to me would say i’m this crazy, out-going, fun loving, hilarious, fabulous son of a bitch!. lol and that i’m just your average dude having fun wit life!. i’m not the type to judge others and that i’m as real as they come!. i’m an open minded person, always giving others a chance even if they don't give me one!. i’m no hater or someone you can hate cause i’m just a loveable individual.. this blog is just to say whatever i want whenever i want..